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Vegetable jokes

Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny vegetable jokes for vegans and vegetarians and anyone else who likes vegetables. Every plant lovers will love this funny jokes about vegetable.

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Showing all 46 vegetable jokes

Does every sentence need to include a vegetable?
How do vegans say, if they wanna go on vacation?
How do you propose to a vegan?
How does a vegan begin grace before meals?
I have a vegan girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love her very much.

But sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.
In the vegetation race, the runner bean took the lead from the start while the lettuce pead on the cabbage.
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frankly, you could use more fruits and veggies.

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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Carrie.
Carrie who?
Carry fruits and veggies to work.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lentil.
Lentil who?
Lentil you open this door, you will never know.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. We brought the salad with us.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Philip.
Philip who?
Philip the basket with vegetables, please.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
Doug Larson
Many people are proud and unashamed to be vegans. No matter what others say, they really don’t carrot all.
We don’t have any more vegetable jokes. If you have one, lettuce know.
Mehek Bassi
What condiment do vegans think is funny?

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What did the celery say to the veggie dip?
What did the vegan guy get for his fiance?
What did the vegan wear to the pool?
What did the vegetarian priest say at church?
What did the woman say to the DJ at the vegan festival?
What do all vegans ultimately want?
What do you call a vegetable that's only kind of cool?
What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?

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What do you get when you cross a Vegetable Patch with a Dinosaur?
What does a cannibal do after he eats a vegetable?
What does a vegetable in love tell his date?
What does a vegetarian vampire eat?
What horror movie do all vegetables love?
What is a librarian’s favourite vegetable?
What is Nigel Farage’s least favourite type of vegetable?
What kind if vegetable makes you sad?
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What kind of vegetable would star in Home Alone?
What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?
Show answer
What vegetable comes from outer space?
What's a caveman's favorite vegetable?
What's a vegan drummer's fave veggie?
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
What’s the first thing vegans do when it’s time to party?
Where do vegans sit in a restaurant?
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Who are a vegan’s best friends when they try new vegetables?
Why did the vegan smile when he opened the refrigerator?
Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
Why was the carrot sad?
Why was the girlfriend of the vegan man lucky?
Why was the vegan girl so much happier after she started drinking vegetable smoothies?
Yeah, that vegan girl in my class is always happy and smiling. She seems really up-beet.

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