Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny vegetable jokes for vegans and vegetarians and anyone else who likes vegetables. Every plant lovers will love this funny jokes about vegetable.
Does every sentence need to include a vegetable?Answer: Not neccescelery.
How do vegans say, if they wanna go on vacation?Answer: Lettuce go to the peach
How do you propose to a vegan?Answer: With an onion ring and a bouquet of cauliflowers.
How does a vegan begin grace before meals?Answer: Lettuce pray.
I have a vegan girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love her very much.
But sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.
In the vegetation race, the runner bean took the lead from the start while the lettuce pead on the cabbage.
Frankly, you could use more fruits and veggies.
Carry fruits and veggies to work.
Lentil you open this door, you will never know.
Lettuce in. We brought the salad with us.
Philip the basket with vegetables, please.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
Many people are proud and unashamed to be vegans. No matter what others say, they really don’t carrot all.
We don’t have any more vegetable jokes. If you have one, lettuce know.
What condiment do vegans think is funny?Answer: Horseradish, because they get a real kick out of each other.
What did the celery say to the veggie dip?Answer: I'm stalking you!
What did the vegan guy get for his fiance?Answer: A 10-carrot ring
What did the vegan wear to the pool?Answer: A zucchini
What did the vegetarian priest say at church?Answer: Lettuce pray.
What did the woman say to the DJ at the vegan festival?Answer: Can you turnip the sick beets?
What do all vegans ultimately want?Answer: Peas on Earth
What do you call a vegetable that's only kind of cool?Answer: Radish
What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?Answer: Collie-flour!
What do you get when you cross a Vegetable Patch with a Dinosaur?Answer: Squash
What does a cannibal do after he eats a vegetable?Answer: He throws away the wheelchair!
What does a vegetable in love tell his date?Answer: Let’s not beet around the bush.
What does a vegetarian vampire eat?Answer: Vegetables
What horror movie do all vegetables love?Answer: Silence Of The Yams.
What is a librarian’s favourite vegetable?Answer: Quiet peas.
What is Nigel Farage’s least favourite type of vegetable?Answer: The European Onion
What kind if vegetable makes you sad?Answer: Despairagus
What kind of vegetable would star in Home Alone?Answer: A macauliflower
What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?
What vegetable comes from outer space?Answer: Green beings.
What's a caveman's favorite vegetable?Answer: Aroogaboogula
What's a vegan drummer's fave veggie?Answer: Beets
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?Answer: Kids don't eat broccoli.
What’s the first thing vegans do when it’s time to party?Answer: They turnip the music!
Where do vegans sit in a restaurant?Answer: At the vege-table
Who are a vegan’s best friends when they try new vegetables?Answer: Taste buds
Why did the vegan smile when he opened the refrigerator?Answer: He saw the Salad Dressing
Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?Answer: Because they want peas and quiet.
Why was the carrot sad?Answer: Because it wasn’t a pea.
Why was the girlfriend of the vegan man lucky?Answer: Her ring was worth a lot of carrots.
Why was the vegan girl so much happier after she started drinking vegetable smoothies?Answer: She felt more up-beet.
Yeah, that vegan girl in my class is always happy and smiling. She seems really up-beet.
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