Vegan oneliner jokes

Being a vegetarian or vegan can be a huge missed steak for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Being vegan is not a trend, it is an awakening.

Being vegan isn’t the most we can do, it’s the least we can do.

Best way to get no one to like you - Tell them you're vegan.

Climate Change needs to hire Corona Virus’s publicist.

Did you know that cows are vegetarians so that you don't have to be?

Do you like my new skirt? I love pleather but it makes me all hot and sweaty.

Drinking cows’ milk? How dairy you.

First rule of vegan club, tell everyone about vegan club.

Hey you pesky vegan, stop eating my garden!

I discovered that becoming vegan was a huge missed steak.

I start to tell someone I'm vegan and I'm disappointed when it doesn't make them like me more.

I think it's an unwritten rule that you must love avocados in order to be a vegan.

I went to this vegetarian BBQ party. They smoked weed.

I'm a vegetarian. I just don't practice.

I've got 99 problems and protein ain't one.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the hell do u think a humanitarian eats?

If I'm just a piece of cake, you're just a piece of meat to me.

If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?

If you eat a vegan is it still cannibalism?

If you only eat meat, you're a carnivore, If you only eat plants you're a vegetarian, If you eat both you're an omnivore, but if you eat humans you're a cannibal and are asked to leave the morgue.

It’s hard for me to understand what my vegan girlfriend really wants, because she always beets around the bush.

Let’s dance to the beet of the music.

Many people are proud and unashamed to be vegans. No matter what others say, they really don’t carrot all.

My friend really changed once she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore.

My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.

No-one cares less about a balanced diet than a vegan.

People who think vegans only eat salad are the same people who think beds are the only furniture you can have sex on.

Supermarket - the place vegans go to study food labels.

The hardest thing about going vegan is milking the almonds.

There isn’t mushroom in there. We may need a bigger space.

They all went bananas when the concert began.

This girl tried to say she recognized me from a vegan restaurant in town but I swear I've never met herbivore.

This lettuce died just so you could be vegan.

Vegetarian is derived from the Hindu word for bad hunter.

We all need peas. We are tired of the drama.

We don’t have any more vegetable jokes. If you have one, lettuce know.

We have all bean there. It ain’t news for us.

When a vegetarian decides to eat pork or beef, then he will lose his ve-ginity.

You think I’m weird for not eating meat? You’re the one who’s eating a corpse...