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Vegan jokes

Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny vegan jokes for vegans and vegetarians and anyone else who likes vegans. Every plant lovers will love this funny jokes about vegan.


Showing 1 to 60 of 124 vegan jokes

A vegan told me people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
A vegan walked into a bar and asked the bartender: "Are these cruelty-free peanuts?"
A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar

I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
Are you a carnivore, but want to eat good, lean healthy meat? Eat a vegan!
Becoming vegan is the most important and direct change we can immediately make to save the planet and its species.
Chris Hedges
Being a vegetarian or vegan can be a huge missed steak for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Being Vegan gives you a superpower

The power to annoy all of your friends.

More funny vegan jokes below

Being vegan is not a trend, it is an awakening.
Can I tell you a vegan joke?
Did you ever hear the one about the vegan masochist who insisted on being flogged with the whole cow?
Did you hear about that one vegan devil worshipper?
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshiper?
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
Did you hear what happened with that vegan zombie?
Do you know what being vegan is?

More hilarious vegan jokes below

Do you serve vegans here?
Guest: Do you serve vegans here?
Waiter: Yes, of course. How would you like them prepared?
Harry Potter became vegan...
Now he only speaks parsleytongue
How are vegans detrimental to the planet?
How can you tell if someone is a vegan?
How do vegans say, if they wanna go on vacation?
How do vegans spice up their veggie burgers?
How do you kill a vegan vampire?

More awesome vegan jokes below

How do you know aliens are not vegan?
How do you know if someone is vegan?
How do you know someone is participating in Veganuary?
How do you know you’re around some vegan witches?
How do you propose to a vegan?
How does a vegan threaten someone?
How does the man cheat on his vegan lifestyle?
How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How was the vegan busted for stealing a Soy Delicious delivery truck?
I have a vegan girlfriend. She’s nice and all, but sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.
I met this woman today who said she recognized me from a vegan group, but I'd never met herbivore.
I think it's an unwritten rule that you must love avocados in order to be a vegan.
If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?
If you eat a vegan is it still cannibalism?
It’s hard for me to understand what my vegan girlfriend really wants, because she always beets around the bush.
My vegan roommate used to eat Raisin Bran, Grape Nuts and muesli all the time. I guess you could say he was a cereal killer.
The quickest way to become a nutritionist? Talk to a vegan. Suddenly everyone becomes an expert on food when they meet a vegan.
They have finally discovered the origin of the word vegan. It is apparently an old Indian word for "bad hunter".
This girl tried to say she recognized me from a vegan restaurant in town but I swear I've never met herbivore.
Vegan: Do you know what veganism is?
Carnivore: Huh?!?
Vegan: It means no milk and no eggs.
Carnivore: Then how do you bread your steak?
Veganism is like communism…

They are both fine, unless you like food.
Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"
What are a vegan’s four seasons?
What condiment do vegans think is funny?
What did one vegan say to the other vegan?
What did the grill master say to the vegan?
What did the vegan chef say to his vegan wife on their first anniversary?
What did the vegan guy get for his fiance?
What did the vegan wear to the pool?
What do all vegans ultimately want?
What do vegans and vampires have in common?
What do vegans wear when going to the pool?
What do veggies say on their birthday?
What do you call a city full of vegans?

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