Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny vegan jokes for vegans and vegetarians and anyone else who likes vegans. Every plant lovers will love this funny jokes about vegan.
A vegan told me people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
A vegan walked into a bar and asked the bartender: "Are these cruelty-free peanuts?"
A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar
I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
Are you a carnivore, but want to eat good, lean healthy meat? Eat a vegan!
Becoming vegan is the most important and direct change we can immediately make to save the planet and its species.
Being a vegetarian or vegan can be a huge missed steak for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Being Vegan gives you a superpower
The power to annoy all of your friends.
Being vegan is not a trend, it is an awakening.
Can I tell you a vegan joke?Answer: I promise it won't be cheesy.
Did you ever hear the one about the vegan masochist who insisted on being flogged with the whole cow?
Did you hear about that one vegan devil worshipper?Answer: They sold their soul to seitan.
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshiper?Answer: He sold his soul for a seitan burger!
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?Answer: He sold his soul to seitan!
Did you hear what happened with that vegan zombie?Answer: They went to an insane asylum and ate all the vegetables.
Do you know what being vegan is?Answer: It is a huge missed steak.
Do you serve vegans here?Answer: Of course. How would you like them cooked?
Guest: Do you serve vegans here?
Waiter: Yes, of course. How would you like them prepared?
Harry Potter became vegan...
Now he only speaks parsleytongue
How are vegans detrimental to the planet?Answer: They produce loads of methane.
How can you tell if someone is a vegan?Answer: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
How do vegans say, if they wanna go on vacation?Answer: Lettuce go to the peach
How do vegans spice up their veggie burgers?Answer: I don’t know, but the most important thing is that it mustn’t taste good.
How do you kill a vegan vampire?Answer: Drive a steak through it's heart
How do you know aliens are not vegan?Answer: Because they haven't contacted us to say it.
How do you know if someone is vegan?Answer: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you within the first 2 minutes of meeting them.
How do you know someone is participating in Veganuary?Answer: It's the second thing they say after "Hello".
How do you know you’re around some vegan witches?Answer: When you hear, “Eye of potato.” “Ear of corn,” and “Head of lettuce.” around their cauldron.
How do you propose to a vegan?Answer: With an onion ring and a bouquet of cauliflowers.
How does a vegan threaten someone?Answer: I'm about to give you a beet down!
How does the man cheat on his vegan lifestyle?Answer: He makes sure to have a bit of meat time on weekends.
How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?Answer: Two. One to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: No idea. But where do you get your protein?
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: Twenty. One to actually change the bulb, and 19 to argue if lightbulbs are vegan.
How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?Answer: Five: One to screw in the light bulb, and four to protest in front of McDonald's.
How was the vegan busted for stealing a Soy Delicious delivery truck?Answer: The FBI followed the noxious fumes trailing from the scene of the crime.
I have a vegan girlfriend. She’s nice and all, but sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.
I met this woman today who said she recognized me from a vegan group, but I'd never met herbivore.
I think it's an unwritten rule that you must love avocados in order to be a vegan.
If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?
If you eat a vegan is it still cannibalism?
It’s hard for me to understand what my vegan girlfriend really wants, because she always beets around the bush.
My vegan roommate used to eat Raisin Bran, Grape Nuts and muesli all the time. I guess you could say he was a cereal killer.
The quickest way to become a nutritionist? Talk to a vegan. Suddenly everyone becomes an expert on food when they meet a vegan.
They have finally discovered the origin of the word vegan. It is apparently an old Indian word for "bad hunter".
This girl tried to say she recognized me from a vegan restaurant in town but I swear I've never met herbivore.
Vegan: Do you know what veganism is?
Carnivore: Huh?!?
Vegan: It means no milk and no eggs.
Carnivore: Then how do you bread your steak?
Veganism is like communism…
They are both fine, unless you like food.
Vegans don't beat their meat
They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"
What are a vegan’s four seasons?Answer: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
What condiment do vegans think is funny?Answer: Horseradish, because they get a real kick out of each other.
What did one vegan say to the other vegan?Answer: We have to stop meating like this.
What did the grill master say to the vegan?Answer: Sorry, I can't listen to your rantings right now, while more important things are at steak.
What did the vegan chef say to his vegan wife on their first anniversary?Answer: I leaf you a lot.
What did the vegan guy get for his fiance?Answer: A 10-carrot ring
What did the vegan wear to the pool?Answer: A zucchini
What do all vegans ultimately want?Answer: Peas on Earth
What do vegans and vampires have in common?Answer: They don't eat at stake houses.
What do vegans wear when going to the pool?Answer: A zucchini
What do veggies say on their birthday?Answer: Lettuce celebrate!
What do you call a city full of vegans?Answer: Las Vegans
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