What do you call a fascist vegan?Answer: Lactose intolerant.
What do you call a militant vegan?Answer: Lactose intolerant.
What do you call a post-punk band that’s also vegan?Answer: Soy Division.
What do you call a super-lazy vegan?Answer: A couch potato.
What do you call a vegan post-punk band?Answer: Soy Division
What do you call a vegan that’s always sad?Answer: Meloncholy
What do you call a vegan who falls off the wagon and starts eating meat?Answer: Looks like someone went and lost their veg-anity.
What do you call a vegan who is a bit of a fascist?Answer: Lactose intolerant.
What do you call a vegan with a bout of diarrhea?Answer: A salad shooter.
What do you call a Vegan with diarrhea?Answer: A smoothie maker!
What do you call a Viking who turns vegan?Answer: Norvegan
What do you call an argument between two vegans?Answer: Quornfrontation
What do you call starving vegans?Answer: Hungry hungry hippies.
What do you call vegan seafood?Answer: Artifishial
What do you call vegans who are kinda cool?Answer: Radish
What do you call veggies that have been arrested by the police?Answer: Collared greens!
What does a vegan zombie eat for breakfast?Answer: GRAAAAINNNS!!
What does a vegan zombie eat?Answer: Graaiiiiins
What happens when a vegan gets mad?Answer: They throw a tempeh tantrum.
What is a heated discussion between a bunch of vegan people called?Answer: Plant-based beef
What is a vegan’s favorite video game?Answer: Kale of Duty
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?Answer: Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What kind of self defence do vegans use?Answer: Tofu
What music do vegan goths listen to?Answer: Soy division
What type of crackers do vegans never eat?Answer: Animal crackers.
What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?Answer: Saladdin
What's a vegan drummer's fave veggie?Answer: Beets
What's more fun than a vegan at a BBQ?Answer: Anything. Literally anything.
What's the difference between being vegan and having Covid 19?Answer: With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary...
What's the hardest part about being a vegan?Answer: Finding enough protein to get the energy you need to tell everyone you have ever met that you are a vegan.
What's the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?Answer: Tell everybody
What's the worst thing about going to a Vegan BBQ?Answer: The screaming.
What’s the hardest thing about being a vegan that CrossFits?Answer: Trying to decide which one to tell people about first.
What’s the toughest part of being a vegan?Answer: Apparently keeping it to yourself.
When someone says they've never tried anything vegan. You've never had an apple?
Where did Vegans come from?Answer: Hummus Sapiens
Where do vegans sit in a restaurant?Answer: At the vege-table
Which car brands do a vegetarian from German drive?Answer: It must be a Volks-vegan.
Who are a vegan’s best friends when they try new vegetables?Answer: Taste buds
Why are most ghosts vegans?Answer: Because it is super natural
Why are vegans more likely to go blind?Answer: It’s not lack of proper nutrition. It’s because of reading all those tiny ingredient lists.
Why are vegans the best friends in the world?Answer: They never have beef with you.
Why did the vegan cross the road?Answer: Because they were protesting for the chicken!
Why did the vegan get fired?Answer: His job performance didn’t meat expectations.
Why did the vegan get sent to anger management?Answer: He had a bad tempeh...
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?Answer: Just for the halibut!
Why did the Vegan go fishing?Answer: Just for the halibut.
Why did the vegan maintain his distance from the cow?Answer: Because it kept cracking dairy jokes.
Why did the vegan not take the job at the grocery store?Answer: He thought the celery was insufficient.
Why did the vegan smile when he opened the refrigerator?Answer: He saw the Salad Dressing
Why did the vegan want to move out of his apartment?Answer: There simply wasn’t mushroom.
Why did they only serve vegan food at the high school football game?Answer: It was full of pro-teens.
Why do plants use photosynthesis?Answer: So they can have a light snack
Why do vegans have a hard time getting intimate?Answer: Because they have horrible gas.
Why does vegan cheese taste bad?Answer: It hasn’t been tested on mice.
Why don't vegans eat chickens?Answer: Because they have eggs in them!
Why don't vegans have sex?Answer: Beating meat is animal cruelty.
Why don’t people like vegan jokes?Answer: They’re tasteless.
Why was the girlfriend of the vegan man lucky?Answer: Her ring was worth a lot of carrots.
Why was the vegan antisocial?Answer: Because he avoided meats.
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