How do you know someone is participating in Veganuary?Answer: It's the second thing they say after "Hello".
How do you know you’re around some vegan witches?Answer: When you hear, “Eye of potato.” “Ear of corn,” and “Head of lettuce.” around their cauldron.
How do you propose to a vegan?Answer: With an onion ring and a bouquet of cauliflowers.
How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?Answer: Two. One to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: Twenty. One to actually change the bulb, and 19 to argue if lightbulbs are vegan.
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: No idea. But where do you get your protein?
How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?Answer: Five: One to screw in the light bulb, and four to protest in front of McDonald's.
How was the vegan busted for stealing a Soy Delicious delivery truck?Answer: The FBI followed the noxious fumes trailing from the scene of the crime.
I met this woman today who said she recognized me from a vegan group, but I'd never met herbivore.
I think it's an unwritten rule that you must love avocados in order to be a vegan.
If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?
If you eat a vegan is it still cannibalism?
The quickest way to become a nutritionist? Talk to a vegan. Suddenly everyone becomes an expert on food when they meet a vegan.
This girl tried to say she recognized me from a vegan restaurant in town but I swear I've never met herbivore.
Vegan: Do you know what veganism is?
Vegan: It means no milk and no eggs.
Carnivore: Then how do you bread your steak?