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Vegetarian jokes

Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny vegetarian jokes for vegans and vegetarians and anyone else who likes vegetarians. Every plant lovers will love this funny jokes about vegetarian.


Showing all 55 vegetarian jokes

9 out of 10 cannibals agree - vegetarians taste better!
Being a vegetarian between meals is like being a pacifist between wars.
Being a vegetarian in Germany is so difficult. It’s the wurst.
Being a vegetarian or vegan can be a huge missed steak for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Did you hear about the vegetarian that died?
Did you hear about the vegetarian who didn't want kids?
Did you know that cows are vegetarians so that you don't have to be?

More funny vegetarian jokes below

Do you know what Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother is called?
Do you serve vegetarians here?
Of course, how would you like them cooked?
Do you serve vegetarians here?
Doesn't it seem ironic that Madonna actually sang, "Like a Virgin"?

That's like a vegetarian who scarfs hamburgers...
How did the vegetarian quit smoking?
How do vegetarians cheat on their partners?
How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?
I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

More hilarious vegetarian jokes below

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
I follow a strict vegetarian diet. I eat only vegetarians.
I had to quit my vegetarian diet. Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
I like making jokes about vegetarians… but never about tofu, that’s just tasteless.
I went to this vegetarian BBQ party. They smoked weed.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the hell do u think a humanitarian eats?
If two vegetarians have a heated argument, can it still be called “beef”?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

More awesome vegetarian jokes below

If you only eat meat, you're a carnivore, If you only eat plants you're a vegetarian, If you eat both you're an omnivore, but if you eat humans you're a cannibal and are asked to leave the morgue.
It's not easy becoming a vegetarian.
I mean, I'm so hungry right now I could eat a horseradish.
I’m trying to go vegetarian, but I still sneak away for an occasional burger

Sometimes you need a little meat time..
My friend really changed once she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore.
Save a cow, eat a vegetarian!
What crackers do vegetarians refuse to eat?
What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?
What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?
What did the epileptic vegetarian always have for dinner?
What did the vegetarian priest say at church?
What do vegetarians call an occasion for burping?
What do vegetarians fear the most?
What do you call a vegetarian post-punk band?
What do you call a vegetarian that eats seafood?
What do you call a vegetarian trans-man?
What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?
What do you call a vegetarian's formal speech about pungent bulbs?
What does a vegetarian vampire eat?
What does Cher say to a vegetarian?
What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
What is the turkey thankful for this Thanksgiving?
What prompted the last massive veggie protest?
What's it called when a vegetarian starts eating meat again?
What's the difference between a vegetarian and a carnivore?
When a vegetarian decides to eat pork or beef, then he will lose his ve-ginity.
When my wife changed religions she wanted me to be a vegetarian for health reasons. I started eating more fruits and vegetables religiously complemented with soy products such as tofu and veggie burgers. When I read the veggie burger package I was impressed by the multitude of mystery ingredients needed to make the veggie burger taste good. I said, “Wow if the soy doesn’t kill me the byproducts I buy will.”
Which car brands do a vegetarian from German drive?
Which vegetarian dish is made from a few spuds of similar shape and color?
Why did the squirrel blush after making vegetable soup?
Why did the vegetarian go to the market?
Why do vegetarians like parallel lines?
Why shouldn’t you become a vegetarian?

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