Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny vegetarian jokes for vegans and vegetarians and anyone else who likes vegetarians. Every plant lovers will love this funny jokes about vegetarian.
9 out of 10 cannibals agree - vegetarians taste better!
Being a vegetarian between meals is like being a pacifist between wars.
Being a vegetarian in Germany is so difficult. It’s the wurst.
Being a vegetarian or vegan can be a huge missed steak for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Did you hear about the vegetarian that died?Answer: That was a great turnip at his funeral.
Did you hear about the vegetarian who didn't want kids?Answer: He got the parsnip.
Did you know that cows are vegetarians so that you don't have to be?
Do you know what Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother is called?Answer: Brocco Lee.
Do you serve vegetarians here?
Of course, how would you like them cooked?
Do you serve vegetarians here?Answer: Of course, how would you like them cooked?
Doesn't it seem ironic that Madonna actually sang, "Like a Virgin"?
That's like a vegetarian who scarfs hamburgers...
How did the vegetarian quit smoking?Answer: He went cold tofu.
How do vegetarians cheat on their partners?Answer: They Meat.
How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?Answer: With a steak to the heart.
I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a huge missed steak.
I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
I follow a strict vegetarian diet. I eat only vegetarians.
I had to quit my vegetarian diet. Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
I like making jokes about vegetarians… but never about tofu, that’s just tasteless.
I went to this vegetarian BBQ party. They smoked weed.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the hell do u think a humanitarian eats?
If two vegetarians have a heated argument, can it still be called “beef”?Answer: Nah, it’s just a case of two people who have bad “tempehs.”
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If you only eat meat, you're a carnivore, If you only eat plants you're a vegetarian, If you eat both you're an omnivore, but if you eat humans you're a cannibal and are asked to leave the morgue.
It's not easy becoming a vegetarian.
I mean, I'm so hungry right now I could eat a horseradish.
I’m trying to go vegetarian, but I still sneak away for an occasional burger
Sometimes you need a little meat time..
My friend really changed once she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore.
Save a cow, eat a vegetarian!
What crackers do vegetarians refuse to eat?Answer: Animal crackers.
What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?Answer: We have to stop meating like this.
What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?Answer: We have to stop meating like this.
What did the epileptic vegetarian always have for dinner?Answer: Seizure salad...
What did the vegetarian priest say at church?Answer: Lettuce pray.
What do vegetarians call an occasion for burping?Answer: A Tupperware party!
What do vegetarians fear the most?Answer: Nutritionists with facts.
What do you call a vegetarian post-punk band?Answer: Soy Division
What do you call a vegetarian that eats seafood?Answer: An omnivore
What do you call a vegetarian trans-man?Answer: A herbefore
What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?Answer: Someone who lost his/her veg-inity!
What do you call a vegetarian's formal speech about pungent bulbs?Answer: A state of the onion address.
What does a vegetarian vampire eat?Answer: Vegetables
What does Cher say to a vegetarian?Answer: I Got Tofu babe.
What is the Native American word for vegetarian?Answer: Poor hunter!
What is the turkey thankful for this Thanksgiving?Answer: Vegetarians
What prompted the last massive veggie protest?Answer: Privileged information was leeked.
What's it called when a vegetarian starts eating meat again?Answer: Losing your veginity.
What's the difference between a vegetarian and a carnivore?Answer: Nothing they both eat non-human animal products.
When a vegetarian decides to eat pork or beef, then he will lose his ve-ginity.
When my wife changed religions she wanted me to be a vegetarian for health reasons. I started eating more fruits and vegetables religiously complemented with soy products such as tofu and veggie burgers. When I read the veggie burger package I was impressed by the multitude of mystery ingredients needed to make the veggie burger taste good. I said, “Wow if the soy doesn’t kill me the byproducts I buy will.”
Which car brands do a vegetarian from German drive?Answer: It must be a Volks-vegan.
Which vegetarian dish is made from a few spuds of similar shape and color?Answer: Matched Potatoes.
Why did the squirrel blush after making vegetable soup?Answer: It needed a leek.
Why did the vegetarian go to the market?Answer: Because he/she was hungry!
Why do vegetarians like parallel lines?Answer: Because they don’t meat
Why shouldn’t you become a vegetarian?Answer: It’s a missed steak.
Feel free to share these vegan and vegetarian jokes with your family, friends, relatives, co-workers, classmates, partner, training buddy or on social media!
Do you have a funny joke about vegetarian that you would like to share? Click here to submit your joke!
Bookmark this site and come back tomorrow for more great vegan and vegetarian jokes.