What’s Michelle Obama’s favorite veggie?Answer: Barackoli
What’s the toughest part of being a vegan?Answer: Apparently keeping it to yourself.
When someone says they've never tried anything vegan. You've never had an apple?
Where do all the veggies go to get their drink on?Answer: The salad bar!
Why are vegans more likely to go blind?Answer: It’s not lack of proper nutrition. It’s because of reading all those tiny ingredient lists.
Why did the vegan cross the road?Answer: Because they were protesting for the chicken, MAN!
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?Answer: Just for the halibut!
Why do vegans have a hard time getting intimate?Answer: Because they have horrible gas.
Why does vegan cheese taste bad?Answer: It hasn’t been tested on mice.
Why don't vegans eat chickens?Answer: Because they have eggs in them!
Why was the teenage veggie so snarky?Answer: She didn’t carrot all.
Why were vegan jokes invented?Answer: To have the poor cannibals for whom to laugh while boiling a vegetarian on a low heat.
You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you're grilling a steak on the BBQ?Answer: I wonder if vegans get that when they mow the lawn.